Friday, May 25, 2012

Mummy loves you: Elle and Meg's Memorial Post.....

Four years today.
I never pre-plan my memorial posts each year. I just let them free form. Four years, wow. Four of what has seemed to be some of the longest years and the shortest years at some points along this journey.

I had a session with my psych recently and she wanted me to consider and plan for today to be more than a day that sticks me with heavy emotion of all that has happened. I understood her, and I heard her when she said it. I agree with her......well mostly. I'm such an advocate for therapy, I believe in it, I need it, it's been my saving grace. I'm a willing participant in my healing, and generally speaking if I'm given a task or strategy I like to fulfil it and see where it leads me in my healing......for better or worse, I believe it's necessary.
It's because of you girls I have these blessing in your brother and sister
But I do find myself these days looking for answers to evolve organically to what I should be doing or feeling. I've known since my session I should logically be planning today. But I didn't know how or if I wanted to. You see for me today is a sacred day, it's a day of sadness and remembrance but it's a reminder of celebrations of joys, journeys and possibilities. It's a day of all possible extremes of emotions of which all or none can, would or will happen.

All I know in this moment is I am your mummy Elle and Meg I will miss you and I will think of you until my dying day, when we reunite. I feel your love, laughter and cheekiness in every day through your brother. I know he is a precious gift you guided to us. I see the purity of your hearts and love in the desires and needs of closeness in your baby sister. Most of all in each and every day I see you and I feel you, both of you.

Forever in my heart, my sweet angel babes, mummy loves you.


  1. Oh Trudie, this brought tears to my eyes. We're coming up to the 10th anniversary of the loss of our Alex - and it's just been filling my thoughts so much. Thinking of you today.xx


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